Did They Do It? They Could Have.

Jonah Goldberg is the most handsomest writer at the NRO. Goldberg is wearing 42x30 Levi 501s, a blazer four sizes too big to cover the Chalupa stain on his shirt, tie from Macy's Reject Catalogue and flop sweat.

Jonah Goldberg is one grotesque-looking human being who also has the special privilege of writing at the National Review and, not for nothing, being a terrible writer. It appears that being terrible at writing is one of the qualifications to working at National Review. I’d love to obtain an application just to prove that “do you have the ability to write nonsensical bullshit?” is on there.

And just look at our noble author above. I think this look is called “conservative chic.” It combines some of the season’s hottest items with a classic un-showered and unshaved look.

Besides being a fashion-forward conservative icon, Doughberg is also full of non-sensical bullshit. Addressing the claims from Newt Gingrich’s campaign team that Mitt Romney stacked the debate hall last night with his own supporters, the doughy one offers this as analysis:

 I don’t know whether he did or not, but it seemed obvious to me that the room had a lot of Romney supporters in it. Romney boosters claimed on twitter last night that he was just winning and people were applauding his great performance. Ehh, I don’t think so. There were definitely moments when Romney deserved the applause and cheers he got. But he also got applause and cheers for lines that have elicited no such response in the previous 8,000 debates. If Romney did pack the room with ringers, it was smart if also devious.

Got that? Doughberg doesn’t know if he did, but he noticed there were a lot of Romney supporters. So he could have. But he doesn’t know. There were moments when Romney deserved applause, but there were moments when he did not.

I think National Review is missing a huge opportunity by letting Doughberg’s analysis be accessed for free. Clearly, this is a goldmine.

Oh, and Doughberg wants to remind everyone of his lonely virgin-nerdness:

If Romney and his team figured that out and tampered with his energy source, that’s smart politics. It’s not like the President of the United States never has to speak to audiences that don’t cheer attacks on Saul Alinsky.

By the way, you probably have no idea how many Star Trek and comic book references I could have made with this whole “energy source” thing.

By the way, you have no idea how big of a dipshit you look like. If there were a medal being given out for “fattest, ugliest conservative twat who says nothing and makes geek references” he’d win gold.

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